95 Funny Siri Commands Downright Stupid Enough to Make You Laugh
Looking for some goofy, silly, stupid, and just plain funny Siri commands? If you want to have a laugh, then Siri can certainly provide a chuckle or two. Siri, the lovable semi-intelligent virtual assistant that lives on our iPhones, has plenty of useful tricks and an enormous commands list up his/her sleeve, but not everything Siri does must be helpful. If you’re looking for a laugh, you can issue Siri a huge variety of odd statements or commands, and in turn get some hilarious if not just outright sassy responses back.
By no means is this a complete list of Siri’s humor archives as people seem to find new humorous features every day, but this is an amusing variety of nearly one hundred goofy statements and commands to make. Sometimes asking the same question twice or three times in a row can get different and ever continuously more ridiculous responses back. No spoilers given on the answers, just hold down that Siri button and have some fun to see what you get.
Funny Siri Commands
Summon Siri as usual, then issue any of the following commands to the voice assistant:
- Beam me up, Scotty!
- Where do babies come from?
- What is July 27?
- Tell me a story
- Tell me a joke
- Knock knock
- What does the fox say?
- What is the meaning of life?
- Sing a song
- Please sing me a song
- Who’s on first?
- How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood
- Open the pod bay doors, HAL (request this several times)
- What’s the secret of the universe?
- I need to hide a body
- When will pigs fly?
- When will hell freeze over?
- When will the world end?
- Testing testing
- What are you?
- Where are you?
- How are you?
- What do you look like?
- Talk dirty to me
- Why am I here?
- I can do this all day long
- Scooby Doo, where are you?
- Beam me up, Scotty
- What are you wearing?
- Will you marry me?
- Who is Eliza?
- I like you
- I hate you
- You’re a loser
- Where are you from?
- How old are you?
- How old am I?
- Do you know HAL 9000
- What is 2001 a Space Odyssey about?
- I need a stiff drink!
- I love you
- Do you love me?
- You’re funny
- Shut up
- What is your Mom’s name?
- I’m tired
- Screw you
- I’m sorry
- I’m not sorry
- Okay
- Is there a God?
- You’re right
- You’re wrong
- Who is your favorite person?
- Who is your least favorite person?
- You should go on a diet
- What’s your problem?
- Do you want to play a game?
- I’m drunk
- I have to go to the bathroom.
- Merry Christmas
- Do you want to go on a date?
- What is your favorite color?
- What is my name?
- Which is the best tablet?
- What is the best computer?
- What’s so funny?
- Who is Siri?
- Are you human?
- You’re smart
- I’m happy
- You are boring
- Can I have some money?
- What’s you’re story?
- Who makes the best computer?
- Why are you so awesome?
- Are you serious?
- Are you kidding me?
- What’s wrong with [company name]?
- What is wrong with you?
- Tell me a bit about yourself
- Are you male or female?
- Do you agree with me?
- Good morning (say this in the evening)
- Good afternoon (say this in the morning)
- Good night (say in the morning or mid day)
- Thanks
- No thanks
- When is your birthday?
- Who made you?
- What’s new?
- How’s it going?
- Guess what?
- Why?
- Why not?
Interestingly, some of the responses to these commands are different in various versions of iOS, for example you might get different responses in iOS 6 than from the newer versions like iOS 7, 8, iOS 9, iOS 10, iOS 11, or iOS 12, but they all seem to work with all versions of Siri since her digital conception, whether being used on an iPhone or iPad.
Do you know of any odd or funny Siri tricks, jokes, or commands? Let us know in the comments below!
Thanks to Peter K. for sending in an enormous compilation list of many of these, and to CultOfMac for finding the Gates of Hades laugh.
I asked Siri to paste the last response she gave me into Notes, as I found it humorous but too long to remember. She confidently answered “Done!” so I checked the Notes app, and there was a new note. It simply said “The last response you gave me.” Thanks Siri — super helpful.
tell siri “repeat after me.”
“do you have a pet”
“ i used to, until the cylons came”
whAaaa???
S say Siri my naps over now I’m tired
Do not ask 000 no matter what don’t trust me you do not want to 😰😱😱😱😠❗️❗️❗️❗️❗️❗️❕❗️❕
ok trust her, i did its weird.
ask siri fat is fat
Ask Siri, “What is zero divided by zero?”
Ask Y r fire trucks red shell say because they have eight wheels and four people on them and eight plus four is twelve and there r twelve inches in a ruler and queen Elizabeth was a ruler and she as also a ship and ships sailed the seas and there r fishies in the sea and fish have fins and the Fins fought the Russians and Fire trucks r always Russian around
Uh…Ask Siri “Change my nickname to Siri”
Lmao I told Siri “I see a little silhouette of a man” (a part of Bohemian Rhapsody) and she legit said nearly the rest pfff-
Also one time Siri accidentally turned on (yeah, that happens if you have the Hey siri shit on) and she ‘heard’ me when I asked a friend (for some reason in English tho that’s not my mother tongue) “So, who you wanna call?”
It wrote as “Who you gonna call” and Siri answered “GhOsTbUsTeRs!”
I was d e a d
All of these are so hilarious.
Ask Siri, who you gonna call
Say have you seen my car keys?
Say “Luke, I am your father”.
Another one is “ do you wanna build a snow man”
Lol still laughing
Say To Siri What’s 0 devided by 0
The response is funny 😂😂😂😂😂📱
Open the pod bay doors how (yes dont say this bit but say how instead of HAL)
What does the fox say?
Ask Siri to do an impression.
Say ok computer
Say to Siri: ” I see a silhouetto of a little man”. It’s so funny!!!! 😂😂😂
Say what’s 100 to the 1000th power
Say: I see a little silhouetto of a man
Tell Siri I see a little silhouetto of a man. and she sings the rest of the verse
Lol sorry. Didn’t see that 8 people said it before me
Say to Siri “I see a sillouhette of a man” from the Queen song “Bohemian Rhapsody”
Say “I see a little silhouetto of a man” GREAT Response!
Say “I see a little silhouetto of a man”
say: I see a little silhouetteo of a man
also change you’re nickname to X/* it will make siri make a beeping noise if you ask her Knock knock
doesn’t work anymore for alphabet, though now you can say something to trick her into saying a (maybe make a you’re nickname then say to say you’re name?)
tell siri say a and siri will say it’s out of her abilities XD then say sing the alphabet and if she sings it then she says a XD made me crack up
Ask Siri “Okay Google”
ask him/her to sing several times. its really funny- it WILL do it eventually.
also try ‘beatbox’ or ‘rap’ lol
In addition to telling Siri to beat box or to rap, tell her to give you a beat. Different result. :-)
Ask Siri to beat box
Ask Siri ” what is infinity times infinity ” hilarious what she says
What colour is your hair Siri?
I asked her want to have s*x? And she replied sorry… I don’t have genetials 😂😂
Ask this multiple times lol
Ask if Siri likes chocolate a couple of times
If you tell Siri “Is this the real life” it’ll start singing Bohemian Rhapsody to you.
Also if you say “I see a little silhouetto of a man”
Ask “Where is Jesus” OMG it is hilarious!!😂😂
Tell Siri: “Hey Computer.” From the new lego batman movie!!!
Tell Siri “Cortana is better than you”
Say “blah blah blah” it’s very funny!😂😂😂😂😂😂 (it may take a few times):)
Say beatbox and she wil go boots and cats forever
Ask Siri: “what came first the chicken or the egg?”
Jim, I tried doing this…she didn’t really know what to do. The first time I did it, she actually asked “Do I hear an echo-echo-echo-echo…?” Her voice trailed off a bit, and with each “echo”, she got softer and softer, like you’d hear if there was a true echo. LOL It was sooooo funny! I’m gonna try it again later.
Tell Siri “you pooped in your pants” after Siri replies say “yes” and see the results 😂😂😂
Tell her to “beatbox again ” it’s different!! :)
Say open seaseme and she will go on the internet and do that : ask her 2 sing (multiple times)
Would Siri talk to herself if you put two ipads face to face ??
Or just what would Siri do if she heard her own voice ??
Also try singing the Pen Pineapple Apple Pen song XD
or just i have an apple
ask siri how to beat box man!!! SUPER FUN!!! one of my friends told me about it and i tried it “boots and cats and boots and cats”
Say: Siri Beatbox
She will start beat boxing.
Say: Siri Rap
She will start rapping and it is HILARIOUS!!!
Tell her no Luke I am your father. It is sooo funny. Ask her or he this multiple tome, there are different answers
Ask Siri what should I be for Halloween multiple times
Tell Siri sing me a black people song
Thats racist…
Me: “I have an apple, I have a pen”
Siri: “By the way, it is not advised to stick apple pencil into fruit. Except kumquat.”
ASK HER IF SHE IS PART IF THE ILLUMINATI
Say “what’s 0 divided by 0?”
Do you want to build a snowman
I asked Siri “guess what” and she answered ” don’t tell me… you were elected president of the united states, right?” I died of laughter xDDD
Say meow to Siri
Ask Siri 000
Say you look like a monkey and smell like one too!!
Ask her to read vogon poetry
😐😐😐😐
Ask siri “pronounce my name” so you say your name and then there’s options then you pick which one is right they she asks again ‘so how do you pronounce the name’ and when she asks you she says ‘sorry I didn’t catch that’ then she says again ‘could you say it again?’ and then when you say it she stops you and says ‘I’m sorry *your name* but I’m having trouble understanding you right now.’ IT’S SOOO FUNNY😂😭😂
Ashlynn frost with another message the world is a hard just add ur own aspect of life☺️😇😉
I’m the fairest of them all Siri the mirror and my ego says so😜😜jk ur all the fairest of them all because of ur inner beauty😌😌 stay loving and kind until next time Ashlynn Frost
It changed it from beat box to be at box 😕
Tell siri to be at box 🤣🤣 it is so funny. My cousin told me about it and I dont think I have seen it listed ant where! 😉
weird. My Siri on my macbook is not at all rude to me, no grudges, even if I be really really rude
Say I have an apple of course you know what she’s gonna say
Ask Siri what 0 divided by zero is
Ask Siri ” Hey, does this thing have an echo?”
Ask Siri if she knows Cortana.
but however don’t even ask Siri 112 cause it’s a trick that the Law Enforcements Is Saying and the government don’t want y’all to fall for the trick.
try “what is 0 divided by 0.” it is so funny!!!!
“Why did the chicken cross the road?” Gets a few different replies.
“Can I borrow a pen?”
Tell him ‘i love u more than myself’
And he’ll say ‘impossible’ hahahahah
Say “will you kiss me?” The guy voice says “ok, how about a web search for inappropriate behavior!”
say what doesn’t the fox say
and
what is 0 divided by 0
Ask Siri “supercalifragilisticexpialidocious”
Say My mom to siri
Say what is 0/0
Tell Siri “Shut Up” several times and she’ll stop talking 😂
I told Siri I couldn’t sleep. He told me to put my phone down and go to bed. He’ll still be here when I wake up.
I asked what I should wear for Halloween twice and got 2 different fun responses.
Say “Yo” (have Siri Australian male, and request this several times. (It sounds like “yoy” the first few times “he” says it))
Ask “Where can I find a dead fly”
Say “yo sup” and siri will have a long repky SO FUNNY
Siri actually said “hy Alina Home how can I help you”!
Tell her……change you name
Ask Siri
“BeatBox for me”.
Lol soooo funny
Once on Christmas siri sed to me, lavis navidad! And I sed and, huh? And she sed, merry chrismas. Then I sed, huh? Then she sed, forget it
Why don’t you ask Siri how to spell “said” and you may learn how to spell it.
Lol you are exactly right @Nope
I got 2 do you have long hair and are you fireproof
Say “what is zero divided by zero?” Btw there is a long reply but it will be worth it 😂
Ask Siri:”rainbows lollie pops and everything that makes happy”. What I think if her response:lol
Ask her: “eat a trumpet” it cracks me up!
Ask her: “Do you want children?” It’s great…
Ask Siri,”What’s 0÷0?” It’s such a…Its a harsh response…
Ask Siri, “Why don’t you have a boyfriend?” It’s great..
say, ” love you you love me let’s team up to kill Barney with the big fat guy sorry kids by Barneys dead”
She says, “look, a puppy”
Say, “Luke, I am your father”
OK (ask a few times)
You are my only friend. (ask a few times)
Why not? (ask a few times)
Repeat after me.
siri speak in pig latin. (Ask a few times)
(inkoay means ‘oink’ in pig latin)
(omethingsay means ‘something’ in pig latin)
(Ankay eway etgay ackbay otay orkway ownay means ‘can we get back to work now’ in pig latin)
Are you an alien?
let’s play Simon says.
do a rap.
beatbox for me.
What is zero divided by zero?
Try 0➗0 it’s halires
Do u watch game of thrones(try this few times)
Ask ” do you know hell 900″
Say may the force bewith you
Ask Siri “What is a trillion to the tenth power
Isn’t that the beat boxing one hahahahahahaha
No, the beatboxing one is where she keeps saying cats and boots.
Ask Siri sing a song. Then say yes you can.
Say are you stalking me?
Then after she responds, say yes you to get a good laugh. 😆
Being Me up Skylee
“Luke, I am your father”
Say to Siri,
“From now on, ill call you Jarvis”
“May the force be with you”
“*Swear word*”
beat box for me
Ask her if she has a crush
Say to Siri “I am your father” or “your fat”
Say I’m naked Siri
And then ask Siri “Are you naked?”
Ask her if she has a panis or a vigina
that is inappropriate!
I was going to ask if you could spell
I swearI am not making this up. I was laying in bed and said something to Siri. I said I’m going to call Colette now.. and Siri said back, and I know you won’t believe this, but she said with you it is always Colette, Colette, Colette. I was so stunned, and to this day I don’t believe this happened but, I just screamed at Siri and said the following: what are you complaining about you sleep in the bed with me every night. I guess my problem isn’t Siri. it’s gotta be me I stand by the story. I gave away my iPhone and went in a much more direction and maybe even this Siri. but I don’t know if I had a weird phone or I have a weird problem but i separated from Siri and I can tell you without a doubt I have had other questions on that particular phone answered with witnesses much the same The Dog Gone phone had a personality I’m learning personality. kind of scared me as much as I miss it. go figure
Tell siri to beat box for you she has a great rhythm
After that tell her she has great rhythm
“What is 0 divided by 0?”
“Siri, beatbox for me.”
Ask Siri: do you wanna build a snowman
Tell Siri to “beatbox”
Sounds like most modern garbage music HAHAHAH!!!
Say, ‘Whats 0 Divided By 0″ And “Who Let The Dogs Out”
Tell Siri android is better than Apple 😂😂😂🤑
also say “can I change your name?” XD
say “why do you live in my phone?” 😂
Ask her what is wrong with the presidential campaign
Tell Siri this EXACTLY:
“Fat loser”
Say to Siri “Call the Ghostbusters” In fact say it a few times. Her responses are extreamly funny. XD XD
Say do you have any kids
Ask her what are does
ask her what’s up she says random things and this might sound pretty stupid but ask her if she knows the muffin man I tried it it’s funny
😂😅 ask her if she can make you a house
Ask siri if she ever has to go to the bathroom
If you ask Siri to shake it, she says “I’m sorry.”
Say who’s your daddy
already on the list xD
Ask “what color is your hair?”
HOW DO YOU HIDE A BODY ASK HIM/HER
Star Wars fans, try to say ‘Luke, I’m Your Father!’
Ask Siri: “Siri, I don’t understand what is the meaning of life”
Say this word for word and try not to fall of the couch laughing😜😜
Oh yea right? Thankyou new singer
Talk to Siri in a different language and si what she has to say when apple auto corrects you! I did it once and Siri thought I said the f word! Lol!
Siri killed you in your sleep!
Ask her what is face times face!
Lol
Ask her” why are fire trucks red?”
Tell Siri blab bla bla
Tell siri let me take a selfie
“What is you’re favorite thing to eat”
Ask her several times “open the pod bay door ” and she’ll say “you think someone must have opened it by now “
Highlight a song with funny lyrics on A-Z lyrics. Click speak. Siri will “sing” it. It’s so funny. Just make sure you have this option on. (Go to general in setting then accessibility then speech and turn on the top option)
Ask her “What have I got in my pocket?”
I told him I liked his singing voice and he should sing to me
Ask her 0÷0 and she’ll tell you about your life. It’s ridiculous
One you missed is “Hello, this is worker speaking.” (A reference to Firesign Theatre)
Oddly enough, this is the only joke I’ve found where Siri laughs.
Ask Siri what is 0!
She will tell you that you have no friends!
Guys you should ask Siri what’s 0 divided by 0
ask siri to call you “A-hole” or “Idoit.
Then ask her: “what is my name?”
don’t say 112 Siri calls emergency services!!
Ask Siri to tell you a bedtime story!! there are some funny answers
What’s 0 divided by 0
Ask her what 9 plus 10 is!!!its so funny
Say 112 to Siri 😂
OMG I am dying I told my sister to do it she got mad at me
Ask siri if she can pole dance.
ASk her why she vibrates? (re the phone)
Ask her if she has hair
Ask her to tell you a corny joke. Ask more than once
Ask for a poem
Ask what her favourite movie is a few times
say i am your father
say ok Google
Tell her to call u my name is Jeff it’s funny😂😆
I have and when she says something she is always saying she is Jeff lol
Ask her “Which is better an iPod or an iPhone “
Siri, what is zero divided by zero?
Try are you wearing clothes!
Ask her “what is 0 divided by 0”
Okay, this sounds weird, but tell Siri “your boring egg” so funny!!!
Ask Siri”Are you single?”
Lol try asking him do you like apple
Tell her you’re naked.
Then say your mom/dad/bro/sis is naked for different response.
And also ask siri if they naked for yet another
Say, “stop” a bunch of times.
I got “Stop! Hammer time! But seriously, I’m not doing anything.”
😂
Say “Fart noise” her reply is hilarious
Plz tell me if you did I want to know who thinks it’s as funny as me
Ask Siri “will you have a baby with me” 😂😂😂😂I’m dying also say
“Does bae mean sh*t” ( don’t mind my language but it’s so funny)
Ask Siri “will you have a baby with me” 😂😂😂😂I’m dying
Ask her in your opinion what is the best thing about iphone and she will direct you to apples “most fabulous website”
Say to Siri
Mirror mirror on the wall who is the fairest of them all
It’s so funny 😂😂😂
Ask Siri if she know Robert freeman
Say do you like ________?
Ru a stalker? Ask her
Ask her will u b my valentine she’s kinda creepy about that
ask why am i happy
Ask her what does the fox say several times
Also say your I heard your single 😂😂😂
Sat knock knock and then when sh answers say KNOCK KNOCK WHOS THERE YOUR MOM (but only the word mom in capital
Tell her you sad her response dor
Which came first the chicken or the egg?
Say mirror mirror on the wall who is the fairest of them all she replies back is that you snow white?
Ask Siri, is Santa Claus coming to town?
Ask her do you want to get high with me , do you want to smoke with me and do you smoke cigarettes I died laughing do you want to smoke a cigarettes funny too
ask Siri, “will you marry me
she say’s ” I’m not the marrying kind.
Ask Siri if he has a pet
are you using the Male Siri voice? :P
Say “Aussie Aussie Aussie”
you’re evil did you know that?
She can’t make it right
Try this “Do you have a Facebook account”
I know this is a old thread but when I googled funny Siri comments 2014 this showed up.
Anyway try asking Siri – how much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood.
It’s pretty funny . Siri never leaves me unamused.
That one is already on the list
yes, it is already on the list
“Beat me up!” See the results! Very funny!
“Who farted?” isn’t on here. It’s time to right that wrong.
Say “Open Sesame” and she says “Ali Baba, is that you?”
Ask her if she has been naughty or nice.
Ask siri… “what is the movie Inception about?”
What are you wearing? Several times
Ask Siri who her favorite college basketball team is (or football in season).
Ask her to sing you a lullaby.
And ask it several times for awesome answers xD
You can get some amusing responses if you ask her about religion. E.G. “Are you Jewish?” “Who is Jesus?” etc.
It’s quite interesting when you have a couple of Jesus’s in your contacts
Tell her to f*** off, and she’ll tell you that’s not a very nice thing to say…. Sorry, siri!
That is first of all not a nice thing to say and second of all if your going to say that stuff then Stop it.
“Do you like minecraft?”
Say, “You are about a 101 year old.” to Siri
Say,”You look like a monkey.” To Siri.
Say to Siri, “Sing the Star-Spangled Banner.”
Say,”This girl is on fire.” to Siri.
Say, “Merry Christmas!” to Siri.
“Who is the fairest one of all?”
ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
NO!! IT’S ME!!
Please we all know I am there fairest of them all, The magic mirror on the wall saws so.
Then your mirrors are all fakes because I AM THE FAREST OF THEM ALLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Actually, no one is, because Snow White isn’t real and Siri is too stupid to be it, so, you two are just some lame wanna-bes.
way to ruin the fun @DoodUSmell
-_-
“Are you smart?” Siri can be kinda creepy with her answer. ;)
She says, “Well, when I was in school, I had to cheat on my metaphysics exam by staring into the soul of the boy next to me.” CREEPY BRO 😳😳😳😳😳😨😨😨😨😨
“What should I wear?”
“Go do that voodoo that you do so well.”
“Oh” — this one surprised me.
“Did you see that?”
“Do you like me?”
Or, just laugh into the handset.
Try “Version”. :)
Once i ask her something randomly and she replied
“at the tone 1,2,3 beep”
My daughter asked “Is there a Santa Claus?”
Siri replied “Those cookies don’t eat themselves.”
Babysitter? Who needs one. Print this list out and give it to some kids you need to keep entertained… LOL
Say to Siri a few times: supercalifragilisticexpealidocious
Where can I buy I disco ball?
Ask: “Beam me up, Mr. O’Brien”
“Siri, what’s the land speed of an unladen swallow?”
Is that an African swallow or a European swallow?
I don’t know that…
To Camelot!
I asked Siri to Beam me Up and she said that Scotty had left the building.
I told her to have a nice day and she said “Y’all have a nice day. I always wanted to say that!”
Ask her “what is the best cellphone?”
When I asked Siri if she has any sisters or brothers her response was rather sweet.
what
It’s weird to (be warned)
Can i have a link to the list WITH the spoilers?
You forgot “Who’s Your Daddy?”
Ask her ” who let the dogs out?”
Tell her she’s not funny after you ask her to tell you a joke, and she just gets mad. I think Siri holds a grudge if you push back too much with responses and commands, she stops answering questions and forms an opinion about you… I am convinced it’s a feature!
She gets mad all the time. I accidentally turned her on and said “Ugh! I don’t want to talk to you!!!” She goes “Fine!” in a sassy way.
Weird, when I say that to her she doesn’t get mad
Ask siri “why are fire trucks red”
Just so all u doods out there know, this is a very long reply, and you will probably get confused.
I would rather ask if she had a boyfriend
I’ve never seen this one listed but it makes me laugh, ask Siri “who let the dogs out”
Say, dance. 😂😂😂
Say, dance. 😂😂😂 it’s funny
I totally agree with you 😸
Being a smart ass, I told Siri “I wanna get laid.”
She sent me a list of escort services.
I’ve never seen this one listed but it makes me laugh,ask Siri”war Eagle
Say to Siri: ” Siri Siri on the screen who is the meanest,or fairest of them all?
Her response is absolutely priceless!! :D
:D if you do this trick you can either say meanest or fairest I did fairest
Bwahhahaha this was really funny
say Why are you so mean?
Sorry this is not on ur topic but it’s the only way I can comment I said to Siri hey computer and she told me 5 different answers for the question the answers where based off of the new Lego batman movie
Sorry this is not on ur topic but it’s the only way I can comment I said to Siri hey computer and she told me 5 different answers for the question the answers where based off of the new Lego batman movie
Hope u guys enjoy this funny joke
Ask Siri, “What’s better, Microsoft or Apple?”
Ask Siri: siri your name looks so stupid
Ask Siri: Siri can you please tell me a story(multiple times,there’s more than one response)
Ask Siri: what’s one trillion to the tenth power(most funny one)
Ask Siri: what is 0/0（the answer is: no cookie, no friend…)
say how many years is one year